1) I am starting a new business. Any of you who acctually know me in real life are likely PAINFULLY aware of this fact because it is ALL I can talk about right now. I have been a photo hobbyist since I was but a little person and recently decided to take my hobby to the next level. Mostly, I wanted an insanely expensive camera and Vulcan said I couldn’t get it unless I figured out a way to make money with it. So I bought it, a lighting kit, a backdrop set and a fancy flash and I am now plugging away attempting to learn to use all of this nifty shit and remember all of the things I learned from high school photography. Biggest thing I’ve learned? Having an eye is not enough. You also need to know about color theory, light stuff and all sorts of geometry.
My first couple of shoots were okay, not great. But now that I’ve been playing around with my camera, studying my books and will be taking classes on photography and art theory in the next few months. I’m feeling relatively confident most of the time that I haven't sunk a ton of money in to something I totally suck at.
Of note, if you have a light optimization function on your camera, TURN IT OFF. Its stupid. I’m sure there is some sort of function for this little thingy but all its done for my portraits is blow the shit out of every ones faces and create a lot of noise when dealing with low light. Your strobe will work much better without it on.
2) I has a special friend *shy giggle*
So big thing number 2 is kind of a really big thing. For sometime I’ve been toying with the idea of dating again. I’ve gone out of dates, attempted copulation one or two times with one or two people, all in the name of science. Generally, I jump into things FAR too quickly (last girlfriend and I were an item about….2 days after my husband left so….) so this go round I’m trying to be a little more conservative…yeah to hell with that. I met a woman, she is outstanding and she is Canadian. Not even the right Canada, the one that’s only an hour away. She is from the WRONG Canada which is multiple hours away. At least it is a drivable Canada rather than a flyable Canada. She is coming out to stay with us for an extended period of time in the interest of getting to know the lot of us better and to help me get the business up and running. I wiggle like a giddy school girl everytime I think about it.
Pink One is thrilled. She adores the Canadian who allows her to color with her fancy pencils and play zombie games on her laptop. Also, because Canadian is not used to being around small, pink headed children for extended periods of time, her method of child placation is to just say yes, which Pink One exploits whenever possible.
Seriously though, they get along famously and I am relatively stoked regarding this particular endeavor.
So with all of this change occurring, Pink One is kind of grasping for a little bit more attention. The business in particular is stressing her out. I feel like I have said the words “not now, mommy is busy” about 700 times in the last month. With multiple shoots every weekend, editing to do, books to read and social media marketing strategies to work out Mommy doesn’t have the time or patience she once did for crawling about on the floor playing Monster, Princess and Jon. My already limited patience for nonsense and tomfoolery has kind of dwindled to nothing. Example conversation:
PinkOne: Mom, why do alligators not wear shoes?
Mom: Lil, they have no need for shoes, now go play computer mommy is working
PinkOne: Why?
Mom: why what?
PinkOne: Why do they not need shoes?
Mom: Because swamp mud is soft, go play computer or its time for bed
PinkOne: Why?
Mom: Why what?
PinkOne: Why is it time for bed? I’m not tired. Why is swamp mud soft? Do they have McDonalds in the swamp? (Now sitting upside down on the couch) Can we go to McDonalds for dinner? Can I have some ice cream? I’m hungry RIGHT NOW I can’t wait 5 minutes for dinner? (Now hanging off the arm of the couch with a foot on my laptop) What are you working on? Why is that lady in her underpants? (I take pin up photos) Can I edit a picture? (Jumping up and down on one foot) Look at my Hannah Montana camera Puck gave me! Look what I can do? (Jumping from table to couch and back to table) Why are you making that face mom?
Mom: GO. A. WAY! JON REMOVE THE MINION I'M WORKING!
Inevitably I lock myself in my room and continue to work, interrupted intermittently by inane questions and a need to be reminded that mommy is in fact still present. I’m not proud of this interaction, nor am I proud that my poor baby has eaten mostly sandwiches for dinner the last week. Oh the mommy guilt, like a hundred tiny knives right in your heart. Any advice on balancing exciting and stressful life changes with active 5 and ¾ year old monsters that require constant attention?
5 comments:
Whew! You've got a lot on your plate right now. Best advice I can offer is: 1) In addition to, of course, striving to be available&loving&kind to your kids, try to extend a bit of that loving kindness and compassion to yourself. Recognize that you deserve credit for being a great mom/businesswoman/girlfriend/employee and all the other roles you play. Be gentle with yourself. 2) Give the "attention grasping" child a timeline for when you will be available to her (her?) And FOLLOW THROUGH. For instance: Child says, "Mommy Mommy Mommy M-ooooooooooom!! Look what I can do!!" You respond with, "Not now Love, Mommy's working. But in half an hour I will play with you for ten WHOLE minutes, IF I can have some quiet time now to finish this picture." This tactic works well with my best friends daughter, who's now four. Good luck! And congrats on the budding relationship and new business!
Share the responsibility. She has a father right? Little girls need there dad. You created a child with this man he should share in the responsibilty of raising her, on a day to day basis. He should be given the opportunity to be there for her when she gets up in the morning, when she goes to bed at night. If you are so busy you cant even provide her with more than sandwiches for dinner, you should be delegating the responsibilities better. Quit trying to do it all yourself and give him the responsibility he deserves. Give yourself a break. The pink one would love to spend time with her daddy and you could use the free time.
Well part of the issue is that daddy doesn't live with us, he lives down the road with his girlfriend and their 2.5 children. While he's been attempting to make something of an effort to spend more time with her, having in avalible on a day to day basis is not possible. With vulcan in school full time and me working 2 two jobs essentially, its been something of a challnge. @ALovely, thank you for the advice, i will definately be doing that. PinkOne and i usually spend at least an hour one on one every night reading stories and singing songs before bed, which helps a ton.
SO he lives down the street and he cant be there on a day to day basis? why? He is still her dad. He can take an active role in caring for her. He lives down the street cant he get her to school in the morning. SHouldnt you be allowing him, not that you should "allow" a father time with his daughter, it is a part of life, moms and dads have to be involved. Kids need both of there parents. With you and vulcan working so much and so little time with you, she needs more loving adult/parental interaction. If dad and his girlfreind have a loving home to share with her why wouldnt you facilitate that? if she is going to have a new sibling, i would think you would want her to feel involved with her dad and his family which is now her family too.
her father has unrestricted access to her, and she spends every other weekend with him and one evening a week. he works nights and sleeps during the day and has only recently been interested in taking an active role in her life. Previous issues make it difficult for me to trust them to have her on any more of a regular basis. When i wrote this post, that week in particular was rather hectic, things have settled down quite a bit this week and we have managed to settle into a better routine. Kids do need both parents, as long as both parents are reliable, consistent, loving and have the best interest of the child in mind. In our situation, that has not always been the case so I am hesitant to rely on her father at the moment.
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