Dear Santa

Well, last posting we discussed how Mediocre Mama is dealing with Christmas and all the changes in her little life. This time, we will discuss The Pinkone and her particular challenges this holiday.

She is doing surprisingly well with not having Dude around this year. There was a brief crying drag surrounding the discovery of his stocking and me not putting it up with the rest of our stockings. Other than that, she's been in cookie eating, cheer making heaven.

The one dark spot in her parade of holiday joy is that ever-present, ever watchful, bearded voyeur, Santa.

Santa is causing Pinkone some major grief this year. Mommy is lucky enough to be a close, personal friend of Santa and she happens to have his number on speed dial.

Because Pinkone has had such a hard time this year with certain behavior related areas (NOT punching Jon in the stomach for eating the last cookie for instance) she is now living in fear that Santa will judge her harshly for her crimes.

The "Santa threat" has been used a couple of times to quelch bad behavior in the past. During a particularly challenging potty training episode, Santa gave a ring and talked to her about the importance of potty training and listening to Mommy. Pinkone replied to his call with awed silence and trepidation. She then begged me to send him the following photo:



Santa rewarded her effort with a plastic kitchen set and other pieces of molded plastic that have since gone missing. The Santa threat worked.

Fast forward to this year. There has been some punching, some yelling, the occasional terrorist threat to the pentagon, its time for Santa to get involved.

During our ever so festive tree decorating extravaganza not too long ago, there was a bit of a meltdown surrounding placement of particularly sentimental ornaments. Mommy wanted them placed sporadically around the tree in pleasing patterns, Pinkone wanted them all in a clump at the bottom of the tree where the dog could see them.

After 15 minutes of screaming, one bought of "I hate you!" and mommy vowing to cancel Christmas and take up being a Jehovah's Witness out of spite, the phone rang. It was "The Big Guy", who sounds strikingly like Jon on the phone. She took his call, nodding with a grave look on her face as he explained the ins and outs of the naughty list and how one may come to find herself on said list. She swore her allegience to him and her compliance to Mommy and promised she would never again demand to be supreme overlord of the gingerbread house.

Her behavior was somber and grim, but the tree was trimmed, and the evening continued without incident. Throughout the week, she would flare up, her temper rising and the pink hair turning red with fury. Coincidentally, each time that phone would ring her behavior would suddenly change for the better and all fury would diminish as she ran with a flash from the room. The choir of demons welling up behind her ceases and peace is once again restored to the land.

Jon asked her this morning if she would like to go and see a Santa Clause, a yearly tradition most children enjoy.

 Her response: "No freaking way!"  accompanied by running in to the next room.

When asked why she doesn't want to see Santa, Pinkone replied that she wasn't looking forward to explaining her behavior to him. We consoled her and said that Santa understands how hard it can be to behave sometimes, and that Santa is really just looking out for her best interests when watching her.

She pondered this for sometime, nodding along as we made out points. When asked once again if she would like to reconsider and go see Santa today, putting in her bid for a place on the nice list;

 Her response:  "nope, not going to risk it".