Oh, she has issues...of this I am sure

I haven't had a lot of time to blog this weekend, hence the guest post from my best friend, which, meanwhile, was an adorable poem that made me feel very loved. I have this whole blog worked out in my mind that will explain the increible randomness of this weekend, our spur of the moment road trip to the state capitol, my last minute reuinion tour with three of my college roommates, and my Flight of the Concords/Linguistics survey complication and abortion dialouge with Cari. But tonight is not that night. I just got back from Cari's and I'm very tired. So, instead you will all get another of my lists, they are easy, random, and amusing to me.

Tonights List: "5 Reasons that I am pretty sure I have royally screwed up my kid"

5) Every story she tells has to do with one of the following things:
a) Murder
b) Maiming
c) Monsters/ghosts/pirates

4) She babbles incecently about all of the following things
a) McDonalds
b) Ghosts/monsters/pirates
c) how I, or someone else, is lying to her
and she doesn't care if you contribute to the conversation, I'm particularly worried about this one becuase she asks herself questions to which i don't hear an answer, is it possible to develop voices in your head this young?

3) She is naked a minimum of 63% of the day, 98% if its a weekend. And bathtime is not counted here.

2) She wants to either be or destroy, all Bratz Dolls, especially becuase i won't let her have them. She told me the other day: "Mom, I want a Bratz doll becuase they are beautiful, and I will stomp on it, and hit it until its nice. So I can have one right?" oh boy.

and the number 1 reason I am pretty sure my kid has major issues:

1) She has cock punched her father 16 times in the last 2 weeks. And while I have to admit, i did laugh the first time, the other 15 times it got progressively less funny, and more upsetting. 20 or 30 times and I'm bound to quit laughing as I put her in time out.

I'm pretty sure this is all Steve's fault.

Photographic evidence:







I will of course pay for her therapy and eventual commitment into a nudist asylum, but I would like it aknowledged that I have done all that I can do. Some kids are just born odd...right? It's not ALL my fault is it?