Just for Me

As a mom, I often find that I don’t get to spend very much time doing things that I want to do. Most things I do, I’m usually planning Camp Fire meetings, going to tot swim classes or children’s birthday parties, usually without the spouse, as he is much more committed to doing only the things he wants to do, and doesn’t really care what I have to say about it. So today, I am taking time to make a list of my favorite things to do because I like to do them, not just because I “have to” or because “its for the kid”

Things I am obsessed with for no particular reason

1) Going to Office Supply stores and covet the neat colored papers, sparkly glues, various forms and nifty file folders. I am completely disorganized most of the time but I long for an office of color coordinated post-its and kitschy file folders with snarky sayings on them. I have a total mini-orgasm at office depot, its like porn to me.

2) Dramatically cutting my hair and dying it a wacky shade. This is one I haven’t gotten to do in quite some time due to my stuffy office job. Its kind of hard to tell by looking at me, but I am a closet freak. I love the idea of having tons of piercing’s and like full sleeve tattoos, but I know that realistically I can’t pull it off. So instead of totally embracing my secret desires to be either a punk or hippy ( I can’t decide but I dream of getting to alternate between dressing like either genre sometimes) I just cut my hair really short and bleach it white for a month. In college, I have pictures taken, like over a 3 month span, and I have around 10 different hair colors and styles, I love it.

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3) Watching depressing or salacious documentaries, particularly about
A) the Holocaust
B) Queer or Female Oppression
C) Sex/odd sexual proclivities
D) Death, in pretty much any form
This was my Friday night ritual back when we had cable, Steve would go out for the night and I would put Lily to bed and stay up until like 4am watching the various HBO documentaries and simultaneously crying and becoming FURIOUS, I love it.

4) Watching Saved by the Bell episodes over and over again. There is something so comforting to me about the way Kelly Kapowski is always perky, Jessi is always outraged, Lisa is always spoiled, and Zack is always scheming, it takes me back to a more simple time.

5) Hanging out with my friends and kicking their asses at Scattegories, I need that little bit of validation on a weekly basis, it’s the one thing I can always win at, even though they accuse me of cheating all the time.

6) Reading, or walking aimlessly around the book shop looking for new books to read. I kind of hate this as much as I love it too because I can never choose just one book and I always feel guilty spending money on myself unless something has broken and is necessary for my day to day life. So when I get a gift card, or some random extra cash, I love to just walk around Barnes and Nobel or some place like that and read the back of books that look interesting to me and try to imagine myself hiding in the bathroom reading them. I love to ready anything that makes my life look less messy, so memoirs and creative non-fiction are my favorite. People’s real lives are way more interesting than fiction.

7) Taking really long baths and smoking in the bathroom. This is a secret joy the husband can never know about. I never let him smoke in the house and I never do it myself, unless no one is around and I’m sequestered in my steamy sanctuary with a good book and no one to bother me. There is nothing better.
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8 ) Getting a pedicure is my absolute favorite way to unwind. When I can swing it, I love to sit back and get pampered, especially the part where they do that thing that feels like they are shaving your feet, god I love that, I feel so pretty afterwards.


9) Shop lifting. Now, don’t get that look on your face. It isn’t like, intentional shoplifting of clothing, or large items. This is one of those things that happens accidentally sometimes, like, you have all your stuff in the cart, but something falls underneath or just doesn’t make it up on the belt and when you get to the car, you realize you have an extra tube of toothpaste or a case of soda that you didn’t pay for. I get that little rush of naughtiness and the internal struggle of whether or not to run back in and pay. God. Writing this out makes me feel like a terrible person, forget I said that, they will probably have my poster up at Haggen tomorrow, don’t tell my mom.

10) Playing hooky. I love to take a day off from work for no reason and do something frivolous either alone, or with Lily and my sister. We like to go grab a movie and go to a nice lunch or go shopping. I like to call it a mental health day. My dad always did it when we were kids, he would just not go to work one day and then take us all to the fair or something fun that had nothing to do with our daily responsibilities.

So, those are my things, my guilty pleasures, the things I enjoy only for me. Maybe it isn’t much but they give me something to look forward to that is only mine.

What are the things you do just for yourself? Buy a new pair of shoes? Get a coffee? I’ll take any good ideas, especially if they keep me from liking shoplifting so much =)

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