The Pinkone was running around like a twacked out lab mouse
The cookies she laid out in rapid succession
Hoping that eggnog would erase her latest transgression
The aunties and MiMi goaded her on
Loving her panic and her stressed cranky mom
She tracked Santa on NORAD and Google earth too
Having only an hour she knew what to do
When Shay Shay announced that Santa was near
Pinkone Jumped up, her eyes filled with fear
Away to the bedroom she flew like a flash
She gave hugs and kisses and a smack on the ass
Her eyes squeezed shut tight she asked me with fear
Mom, does Santa know I really tried to be good this year?
Pinkone, I said my heart growing full
Santa knows on the inside you have a good soul
But will a good soul get me my sled?
Oh shit thought mommy, I think I’m dead
For no mention of sleds had been whispered to me
And a whole different gift would be under the tree
Uh, Pinkone, I said attempting no stammer
What happens if Santa couldn’t make a sled with his hammer?
“Then I will be angry” she said with conviction
“so, nothing else will meet your predilection?”
“Nope, nothing” she said as she drifted to sleep
And mom uttered the F-bomb and began to weep
So off the to the Wal-mart she flew in a flash
with all other moms on the last minute dash
And there I did paw through bin after bin
Not a sled could be found much to my chagrin
A saleslady looked fearful as I approached in a panic
This Christmas was sinking like Leo in Titanic
I wandered on home my head hung with shame
This whole endeavor was incredibly lame
Santa had failed or so I freared
Would Pinkone give up and be naughty all year?
The next morning she rose, her eyes all a twinkle
The bells on her jammies lightly did jingle
She walked down the stairs, her sled she looked for
she peeked round the fireplace, the bathroom and door
When no sled she did spy her face it did fall
Until she saw presents stacked high up the wall
“Are those all for ME?” She asked with shock on her face
“Mom there are presents all OVER the place!”
She smiled wide and looked directly at me
“Santa did know, he really did see”
“I tried to be good and he saw my soul
I worked super hard and I reached my goal”
So sled or no sled, Pinkone was happy
Santa had listened and though her behavior was crappy
He saw that she’d tried and cut her some slack
and for the whole morning she gave me no flack
Pinkone was great and her Christmas was too
Mommy was stoked with no discipline to do
As she climbed in bed she hugged me tight
“Happy Christmas Mommy, and have a good-night!”
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